what is this i don't even

so since we last spoke, i took the plunge into 40k and am now an ork player. woo! i even assembled my first army list (500 points) and through invoking the venerable "counts as" rule twice, i feel like i've got a pretty decent warband. there's four pics available - one group and three sectionals - here. for the time being, one of the lootas is being filled by half a ghazghkull mini, and the painboy is some figure that i'm not familiar with. i start gaming with it on sunday, so we'll see where my army building skills get me.

I BET YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

so i am STRONGLY, STRONGLY considering getting into warhammer 40k as a miniature hobby instead of just the books and computer games. i've almost definitively settled on running an Ork army, probably a mix of these two Klanz (info courtesy of wikipedia):

Death Skulls

The Death Skulls (also known as Deff Skullz) are looters who grab whatever they can from corpses on the battlefield, although they aren't above taking things from other Orks who aren't watching. This has earned them the name of "Thieving blighterz who take anyfing dat izn't nailed down" by the other Orks. They collect anything that might be useful, as well as various lucky trinkets and charms. They are superstitious even for Orks, and often paint themselves blue (which Orks feel might give them Gork and/or Mork's favor in battle).It is not uncommon to find looted vehicles in Death Skull armies, such as Chimeras and Rhinos. Their symbol is the horned skull. Deathskulls have a larger number of gretchin compared to other clanz, as the grots are used to scout around, helping their ork masters to look for gubbinz they can steal. In battles these gretchin will often be fielded right in front of the orks themselves, for obvious reasons. Painters often use the "Braveheart-style" of facepaint when painting Death Skull models. According to older background, the Death Skull clan produced more Mad Doks than other clans and in that vein Mad Dok Grotsnik was a Death Skull before his 'accident.'


Evil Sunz

The Evil Sunz love loud, rumbling engines, the smell of gasoline, and above all, going as fast as Orkily possible - arguably even more than splitting heads (Of course, going as fast as Orkily possible while splitting heads is a dream fulfilled). Usually, an Evil Sunz band will consist almost entirely of Speed Kult members. Even warbands that haven't given completely over to their love of speed will often have many bikes or vehicles in their force. The clan also contains more Mekboyz than most, and therefore they often field more mechanical creations than other clanz. What little footsloggers they do have are saving up their teeth for a good bike, or perhaps a group of Ork mates are pooling in for a flash truck. Their symbol is a red sun with a grimacing face, often with yellow or orange flames. The Evil Sunz symbol is also found in Warhammer Fantasy. Most vehicles of the Evil Sunz are painted red with flames down the side to tie in with their main belief that "Da red wunz go fasta!" Often, the Evil Sunz are envied by the slogging footboyz of other klanz for their ability to get into the battle quickly, especially the highly mobile Trukkers, who charge into the fray aboard a large and shoddy truck that is poorly armored but very fast and armed with big shootas. Warbikers in this klan are the best of all the other Orky bikers, often refitting their hull-mounted shootas with menacing mega-blastaz. Their horridly crude engines deliver a sickening plume of smoke wherever they travel, granting them cover. Wazdakka Gutsmek, a renowned Ork biker, is from the Evil Sunz klan.


lots of conversions and potentially sculpting my own models. plenty of info about them on the internets. i might also run an IG army on the side, but that's not so much a priority right now

oh, the things i find in my travels around the internet

BACKWARDS MOVIES!

If you watch Scarface backwards, it's about a man who gives up cocaine and crime to follow his dream of becoming a dishwasher to earn enough money so he can visit Cuba.

If you watch Rambo backwards, it’s about a man who brings people back to life with his magical vacuum gun

if you watch The Karate Kid backwards, it's about this karate champ who slowly becomes a pussy and ends up moving back to Jersey.

If you watch Jaws backwards its a movie about a shark who threw up so many people they had to open a beach.

if you watch cloverfield backwards, its about a monster created by the air force that goes around fixing everything, and then he goes for a swim in the ocean and everyone is so happy they throw a party and go to sleep

if you watch lord of the rings backwards, its about two hobbits who are dropped off by birds at a volcano and have to hike hundreds of miles back, as a practical joke on them

if you watch fight club backwards its about a lonely, psychotic, jobless guy who fights his way into a great, job-filled, mentally healthy life.

if you watch any. any. michael cera movie backwards, he regains his virginity.

if you watch castaway backwards, its about a man who rides a raft out to sea to live on a desert island for a few years before summoning a plane from the water to go propose to his girlfriend

If you watch Point Break backwards, it's about a bunch of surfers who jump 30,000ft into an airplane, then set about a spree of extreme bank deposits

Titanic backwards is the story of an enormous iron ship that surges up from the vast depths of the ocean in order to save a large number of people who are inexplicably, and somewhat foolishly, floundering in the water near an iceberg. It then takes them back to Southampton.

if you watch saw backwards, its about people getting healed by revolutionary doctor equipment

If you watch The Matrix backwards it's about a bunch of robots who rescue some humans from a post-apocalyptic future and allow them to live in an idealized reality.

If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it's about an amazing T-Rex who pukes up dinosaurs and people and builds itself a pen to live in. Then they open a dinosaur themed park around it.

honestly, who throws a shoe?

i was originally going to do a post about how pointless and even useless email has become given all the social networking sites out there, but screw it.

THE WAL-MART APOCALYPSE!

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/6188951/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/6246976/

very similar in spirit to the idea of Target 2012. enjoy :)

not my joke. i'm not funny. but quoted for freaking truth.

A large firm hired a tribe of cannibals. At the orientation the CEO said, 'Welcome to the company. We are happy to have all of you. But we would like to insist that you all promise here and now to never eat any members of this company. Can I get you all to promise that?'

One by one the cannibals all agreed. All was well. But one day a secretary suddenly went missing. The CEO immediately called a meeting with the cannibals. With all of them in one room the CEO addresses them. 'Everyone that works with you has had nothing but good things to say about you. However we've had a secretary go missing recently. None of you would happen to know anything about this would you?' One by one the cannibals all shook their heads.

With that the CEO took his leave. However, the moment the door slammed shut the chieftain immediately turned to the others. 'We've been eating managers for WEEKS! Who was the IDIOT who went out and ate a secretary!'

ninety percent of everything is crap

so i've been in this bizarrely good mood all day, and i can't quite figure out why that is. when i woke up, i don't think i realized it was friday, so i was gearing up for just another generic midweek day. and by the time i clocked in, i realized that it was in fact friday and there was a weekend just sitting there on the other side of my shift. so i issued a mental challenge to myself not to let all the usual crap get to me.

and you know what?

it worked.

now i'm as surprised as anybody that i wasn't in a bad mood today, or even more than passingly annoyed at something. i want to make a joke right now that involves me typing into the internet without even wearing a shirt (which is true), but it's just not coming to me. maybe one part that augmented it was the caps beating down the leafs tonight, but even for the 13.5 hours before that, i still was doing pretty good.

so now there's a weekend ahead of us, and i need to figure out what's going to happen other than the next caps game on sunday. megan was working tonight but she should get off soon, then she closes tomorrow and sunday. nancy was organizing a thing at champions for her favorite band, but i missed the part where that's going down at the end of february instead of this weekend. so as long as it doesn't coincide with a major olympic hockey game, i can easily see myself being social there.

but for the rest of this weekend, it looks like more internetting and tv'ing and reading (shirts optional).

so yeah.

that deaf dumb blind kid does something, but i'll be damned if i can remember what it is

maybe i just haven't been paying enough attention, but i can't recall hearing anyone comparing obama's response to the haiti earthquake to bush and katrina. i know they're different circumstances, but it seems like we as a country are seriously gearing up to save haiti. that's all well and good, and i'm sure in hindsight a few years from now (read: 2012 election cycle) obama will be the great compassionate one. and even i'm not cruel enough to say that the haitians should suck it up and pull themselves through it. but it seems to verge on overkill compared to the way that we (as a country) geared up for and responded to katrina. i saw some headline talking about his winning streak in congress about getting laws passed that he personally got involved with, but i'll reserve judgment until i see how health care ends up.

it may surprise you to learn that working in retail, i don't pay for (and can't afford) health insurance. i'm lucky enough to be fairly resilient when it comes to getting sick or injured, so i've gotten through for the last five years without it. in that span, the worst i've had was a case of strep (which if you worked with me back then, you know what kind of shape i was in). but since a prescription of penicillin cleared that right up, i'll claim that i've done alright without insurance in my lifetime.

so maybe i am tempting fate, but i really believe that i don't want health care coverage forced on me. the most asinine part of it is charging everyone if they don't have insurance. why kick a person when they're down, especially if they can't afford the ice pack for afterwards? i don't normally get all political, but that just seems like you're begging not to be re-elected.

anyway, whatever. at least i'm blogging again!